PopWatch covered the ‘Law & Order: SVU’ episode ripped the pages of Fifty Shades of svu-Anna-Chlumsky-Roger-Bart.jpgGrey. From the site, “In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous. And when those offenses revolve around a bestselling erotic novel that promises to release a woman’s ‘inner Venus,’ they also tend to get especially ridiculous.

If you didn’t catch Law & Order: SVU‘s take on Fifty Shades of Grey last night, you missed out on an hour stuffed with twists, hammy performances, and dry references to nipple clamps. Veep‘s Anna Chlumsky guest starred as Jocelyn Paley, the author of a wildly popular novel that “makes Fifty Shades look like a Disney story.” Broadway (and Revenge) vet Roget Bart joined her as Adam Cain, a blowhard talk show host who rapes Jocelyn, then claims their rough sex was consensual. Sound intriguing?”

Here are a few of the episode’s “best” lines. Check out the full list here.

1. Cain, to Jocelyn when she first appears on his talk show: “I don’t know if I should kiss you or spank you.”

Jocelyn: “Who says you can’t do both?”

2. Detective Rollins, describing a scene in the book that’s similar to Jocelyn’s rape: “In Act Five, the main character is choked with a belt and sodomized. She has like, 18 orgasms.”

3. Sergeant Munch, describing the book: “The prose is pretty florid, although I admire any author who can work kitten nipple clamps and and ‘Albinoni’s Adagio’ into one sentence.”

4. Cain, proclaiming his innocence: “She gave me her panties in a restaurant.”

5. Detective Amaro, after Cain rapes Jocelyn again: “He also probably knows it’s Act Nine in the book — elevator sex. I read the masterpiece last night.”

6. Detective Ice-T, after Munch mentions the book’s Renaissance allusions: “You can put a diploma on it — porn is porn.”

7. Cain’s ex-intern, Katie: “He’s not really a bad guy. It’s just when he gets that belt in his hands, he loses it.”

5 thoughts on “The Most Absurd Moments from the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’-themed ‘Law & Order: SVU’”

  1. Thanks for writing this up, I was curious how this episode was I started the episode, but could just not finish it. I thought it was one of the more graphic episodes of the show and I’ve seen marathons and marathons of SVU. I just had a feeling this episode would be beyond ridiculous.

  2. Law and order apply by every citizen. Without law and order there is no discipline. And the discipline should be adopted by all the persons. Bonding company also have law and order and have the rules for all that are very beneficial for all if any one adopt these rules. I study these rules and like each. If we follow these rules then live our life very happy.

  3. Thank you for the generous words, Jim, and I’m very grateful to be named as the lead contributor. Who would have thought that a simple scofflaw like me, who spent his time misspelling graffiti and stealing garden gnomes, would rise to such heights? (No need to answer.) I should probably mention that if my cloning experiments succeed, there will be several of me. I am hoping we get along and one of us knows how to cook.fayetteville bondsman

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.