LitStaff Pick: Favorite Characters from Shakespeare

Beatrice from Much Ado About NothingBeatrice

She might be just a fictional heroine of a Shakespearean romantic comedy, but here are 10 Reasons Why Beatrice Is The Best

  1. She don’t need no man:

Beatrice: I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

Leonato: Well niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.

Beatrice: Not till God make men of some other metal than earth.

2. Her temper is fierce:

Beatrice: O God that I were a man!  I would eat his heart in the market place!

3. Almost as fierce as her wit:

Messenger: I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.

Beatrice: No.  And he were, I would burn my study.

4. Her insults are the definition of “burns”:

Benedick: God keep you ladyship still in that mind, so some gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate scratched face.

Beatrice: Scratching could not make it worse and ‘twere such a face as yours were.

5. She doesn’t have time for your bull:

Benedick: Tarry, good Beatrice.  By this hand, I love thee.

Beatrice:  Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.

6. For all that, she’s smart and self-aware:

Beatrice: But I beseech your Grace pardon me.  I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.

7. And classy enough to let a guy down easy:

Don Pedro: Will you have me, lady?

Beatrice: No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days; your Grace is too costly to wear every day.

8. She inspires love from a cynical, professed bachelor:

Benedick: I do love nothing in the world so well as you.

9. And learns to love him back:

Beatrice: I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest

10. And though she gains a little humility and plenty of perspective, she retains her humor and sharp tongue through play’s end:

Beatrice: I would not deny you; but, by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion, and partly to save your life, for I was told you were in a consumption!

Three Cheers for Beatrice, the Shakespearean heroine to rule them all!

-Kira Apple